Hello, Bonjour: A Networking Guide for Ambitious Introverted Immigrants

By Mahlena-Rae Johnson, Small Talk Strategist for introverted edtech CEOs

Another day, another networking event. 

You are clutching your name tag like a life preserver. The room buzzes with animated conversations and clinking glasses. But you want to book the next flight back home to wherever "back home" is for you. 

My fellow immigrants, particularly those of the ambitious and introverted persuasions. We are the ones who moved from one country to another to follow our dreams. We understand that success can require stepping outside our comfort zones. Yet we also find ourselves taking a fake phone call at an industry mixer.

Traditional networking advice was mostly written, or shouted, by extroverts who think "working a room" means bouncing from person to person like a pinball. But, there is another way. 

After years of awkward small talk, strategic bathroom breaks, and perfecting my French exit, I have developed the Hello, Bonjour Method. Because I am Canadian now, and this country has two official languages. And I know how to say “ambitious” and “introvert” in only one of them.

Here is how you can Hello, Bonjour yourself to success in three simple (but not easy) steps: 

Relax, Relate, and Release.

Relax: Reframe your game.

Stop thinking of networking events as gladiator arenas where you must perform or perish. 

Start entering these gatherings as a curious human being. You happen to have expertise, experiences, and insights that could genuinely help another human being.

Remember that most people at these events are just as nervous as you are. Some are just better at hiding it behind intense handshakes and loud laughs.

Additionally, as immigrants, we often carry this extra layer of wanting to prove ourselves, to demonstrate we belong. But, here is your permission slip: 

You ALREADY belong. 

Your perspective, your journey, your ability to navigate multiple cultures – these are not things to sand down in a futile attempt to assimilate. These are your special powers.

Relate: Activate those superpowers.

At the event, use your introverted nature as an asset. While the extroverts are busy collecting business cards like they're Pokémon, you have the superpower of deep listening. You can engage in meaningful, one-on-one conversations that people will actually recall a week later.

Find one person who seems approachable. Approach them with genuine curiosity, not a rehearsed script. Start with, “Hello.” Then, try conversation starters that feel natural to you. Let them talk first. Ask follow-up questions. Share your own experiences when they relate, not when you think you should insert your credentials.

When the conversation feels complete, connect with each other on LinkedIn. Then, move on to the next person, or to a short break to recover. 

Release: Let go of what doesn't serve you.

After the event, when you are at home in your pajammy jams, wondering if you said anything très amusant, it's time for the most important part: releasing the traditional networking expectations that make your life more difficult.

Create boundaries that honor your energy and your authentic relationship-building style. Follow up only with people you genuinely connected with. And, do it when you have the mental bandwidth to be thoughtful about it. For me, the best time is 24 hours later. Send a message that references your actual conversation. 

When you stop trying to network like an extrovert, you actually become more successful at building genuine professional relationships. Connection, my fellow immigrants, is something we do well – we just do it one meaningful conversation at a time.

What is one way you can say Hello, Bonjour to networking on your own terms?

You could try out your new skills at the next Speed Networking event hosted by The Prosper Network. 😀

Mahlena-Rae Johnson teaches leaders like you how to talk to future clients with less cringe and more fun.

Connect on LinkedIn @mahlena