“I Get To”: The Power Of Self-Talk
By Laura E. Tadd, PhD. of Mythic Sky, and Member of The Prosper Network
Last week, I worked with a client who felt overwhelmed by her self-imposed to-do list.
She, whom I'll call Kate, is a few years away from retirement, and her to-do list of what she feels she has to do to move into a new chapter of life is causing stress and anxiety.
Among her many to-dos is deciding whether she and her husband will stay where they live now or move after she retires -it is a consequential decision on which much of their life and other to-dos hinge.
Kate presented this stress point as: “I can’t think about retiring because if we are going to move, I have to figure out where we will go.”
It wasn’t so much the idea of moving that she found stressful, but the self-imposed pressure of having to make a decision; that was dysregulating to her nervous system. So much so that she thought it was better to keep working than to decide on next steps.
Kate shared other factors that contributed to stress or anxiety in her life. Each time she mentioned them, she prefaced them with “I have to…”.
She is in recovery and said: “I have to go to meetings.” She is also mindful of the quality of the food she eats: “I have to eat organic food.” And on it went.
To be clear, I’m for all these things. I mostly eat organic food myself. As she’s in recovery and finds meetings helpful and supportive in maintaining it, that’s wonderful.
What I worked with her on was reframing her language. I suggested she switch out “I have to” with “I get to.” And see how that felt.
I asked her what the difference was in her body when she said, “I get to decide where I am going to live.” The lightness in how she held herself shifted instantly. A point of stress had become an opportunity for joy. She tried it with other items on her to-do list, and the shift from contraction to expansion was consistent with each reframing.
Try it for yourself, with whatever is going on in your life.
How does “I have to grow my business” vs. “I get to grow my business” land differently in your body? How does it change your motivation and your connection to even the mundane aspects of your day?
“I have to fold the laundry” vs. “I get to fold the laundry”.
Try it for a week and see what else changes in your life.
Laura Tadd, PhD is a spiritually oriented psychological astrologer, educator, and facilitator, Laura invites people into a deeper relationship with themselves and the sacred patterns that shape their lives. With 20+ years of experience, she weaves astrology, myth, meditation, and other metaphysical practices into grounded, compassionate guidance for healing, self-understanding, and personal growth.
In addition to her private consulting practice, Laura leads and co-hosts workshops and retreats with wellness practitioners worldwide. Holding a doctorate in Human Science, she is committed to making esoteric concepts accessible and grounded while honoring their elusive magic.
Website: mythicsky.com
Contact: laura@mythicsky.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-tadd-phd-499b507/