5 Ways to Turn Down Your Inner Critic & LIGHT up Your Inner Wisdom
By Sheryl Turner, Trauma Informed Life Coach at Sheryl Turner Coaching
Everyone has some level of an inner critic, but not everyone knows how negatively it impacts their personal and professional lives. And, you don’t lose your inner wisdom--you’ve just been conditioned to stop listening to it. Only by turning down the noise of the critic can we tune in and hear our own inner wisdom speaking. Here are 5 ways to do both:
Listen
Listening creates awareness. Tune in to hear the words you say to yourself. Ex: “You’re too much.” “You’re not enough.” “You should _______ (‘be further along by now, make more money, wait until you have more credentials’--just fill in the blank!).”
Anytime you use the word “should” it’s an inner critic red flag.
Investigate
Ask whose voice you’re hearing when you criticize yourself. Yours, a parent, teacher, or boss? Think like an investigator, without judgment.
The critic often sounds reasonable, even truthful, just stating the facts. Other symptoms: Overthinking / replay loop in your head, shaming thoughts and feelings, anxiety, people pleasing, and many others. Investigate all of them.
Give Inner Critic Its Own Identity
Give the critical voice an identity and name. Describe it in detail. If this is challenging, find a TV or movie character (or that old teacher or family member!) who reminds you of the voice in your head.
Talk about it in the 3rd person. As you start to see the critic as “it” and not you, you can more easily separate it from your identity and just observe the voice that’s talking and it’s not you. For me, it’s helpful to say to the critic, “No, thank you. I’ve got this!”
If the critic is really misbehaving, imagine physically removing it to another room. Sometimes I put mine in a timeout chair!
Have Your Own Back
What would it look like to have your own back no matter what? Decide that regardless of mistakes, circumstances, or others’ opinions, you will always have your own back. You will not beat yourself up, ever. Commit to speaking kindly as you would to a loved one.
Turn the dials…
When we turn down the noise of the inner critic we can begin to hear our own inner wisdom in a much deeper way. You have a vision for your life! When you allow your inner guide to be louder than the critic, it will become the most powerful presence. Give it an identity, as well. Something that feels LIGHT or joyful. Use lots of detail.
How do you access your inner guide? Daily practices!
The more you seek, ask and listen to what shows up, the more you will hear your deep inner wisdom show up to guide you.
Here are some of my favorite practices and ones I use with clients:
1. Meditation –Being in stillness allows inner chatter (usually negative) to fade into the background.
2. Nature – Notice what’s around you--sounds, plants, animals, people--without labeling or judging them. Notice your breathing without trying to change it.
3. Journaling – pen and paper are best or an app on your phone (if you can avoid scrolling, that is!).
4. Ask Out Loud – ”Inner Guide (or any name that works for you), what would you most want me to know (with this person, this situation, or just in general)?” Then listen to the answers that come up.
I first learned about the adverse personal & professional impact the inner critic has from Tara Mohr’s seminal work in her book and course, Playing Big, and some of the tools mentioned are from this work.
